value

A word is just a word, until someone comes along and gives it a value or meaning. The words love and friend are two words I see and hear used on a daily basis and I often wonder if it's whole value is being accredited. I can't begin to tell you how many people I've called friend when they were only an associate. I think we often try to replace being real with being nice, without realizing the damage we'll stumble upon in the long run. I think we should all stamp the year 2012 as the year for "keeping it real."

In the past two years, I've come across some of the most shallow people I've ever met in my life. It amazed me how treacherous a person could be, then turn around and smile in your face, give you compliments, come to your house to chill, text for making weekend plans, and much more. Not only does this amount to a fake person and someone who lied about being your friend, they're ultimately a liar. One thing I cannot stand and I will not stand is a liar. I've come off too genuine to people for me to to always get stabbed in the back. If I call you a friend or say that I love you, it's truly meant and when certain people take that for granted it's hurtful. However, I don't cringe, I just forgive and forget.... until you come back.... if you ever do. I will never become this cold blooded person who will never befriend again, I just realize that I need to further evaluate people and their intensions before letting them in.

I have this hunch or rather, this intuition, about people before I really get to know them and my preconceived notions tend to be true 99.5% of the time... scary. I don't like to pass judgement so I give everyone a chance, but those who I knew would be shady from the start turn out to probe me correctamundo! It saddens me because who knew it could be so many flakey characters in the world? Now I will admit I had some good times with certain people, but then I begin to wonder if it was all what it seemed to be or was I being played a fool.

The thing that tears friendships apart are jealousy, lies, and he said/she said. A friendship should never involve jealousy because if it does there isn't a true relation. A jealous person will smile in your have but mentally break you down so that you can feel as low as they do. They're intentions are to break you. Lies, lies, lies rip apart any type of relationship built because once a lie is planted, the before and after is always questionable. There is no longer room for the word t r u s t. He said/she said is the most childish thing I've heard of. If there is a problem in a "true" friendship, it should be handled from the root of the problem with who it involves and how it may have happened. Any voices heard in between makes room for lies and various renditions of what actually happened. Stop it. This also includes "advice" from old friends. We've forgotten how to TALK to one another. We rather talk behind each other's back, send text messages, tweet, post Facebook statuses.... whatever, instead of being face-to-face and handling situations in a mature manner. Once you reach the age 18, you should be able to approach any situation in an adult manner. The childish have to cease.

When things get to a point where so many rumors have been spread, it resorts to unresolved conflicts, cursing, arguing, and violence. I'm too mature to deal with childish individuals. I have no issues with anyone at this point in my life (there are people who have problems with me and I would like to solve them but seems that won't be happening). I'm focused on bettering me on a daily basis. I feel as though if you have a problem with someone, especially someone you call a friend, talk about it..

To close off, there is one person I have something special to say to: If you are reading this, which I hope you are, no this is not all about you....... though most of it was inspired by you... and our other friend we began with. I really love you with all my heart. I wish we could be friends again... like before. Titles complicate things. Miscommunication & No-communication ruin things. You are really the only real friend I have and ever had..... I feel really stupid for saying this. I feel like... I don't know. *sigh*

-Nick.